


Better for Being Broken

by Cornerofmadness



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 11:58:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21136346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerofmadness/pseuds/Cornerofmadness
Summary: He’s broken but she prefers him that way.





	Better for Being Broken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cozy_coffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cozy_coffee/gifts).

> **Disclaimer** \- As always, Joss owns all characters. 
> 
> **Timeline** – early season four
> 
> **Author’s Note** – This was written for cozy_coffee at comment_fic for the prompt : Any, any, thinking their scars make them ugly. It's been a while since I've written this pairing.

XXX

Wes stumbled his way into his kitchen. Dawn hadn’t broken but he knew he’d never get back to sleep. Some tea and some research, that would set him right. True, they were his old Watcher fall-back moves for when he was troubled but what else was left to him? His mind whirled, not allowing him to sleep. For the fist time in his life he had to consider something about himself that was unpleasant: he was ugly.

He’d never been a vain man, but knew he was handsome enough. Now he was so scarred, so repugnant. As he waited on the kettle to boil, he traced the heavy scar on his neck. Part of him wished he hadn’t been saved when Justine had slit his throat. It wasn’t the scar – or least not entirely – that had thrown his opinion of himself into the dust bin. It was the scars he couldn’t see that accomplished that.

He’d taken Angel’s son with the best intentions. Wes had truly feared Angel would kill Connor judging by how he was acting but he shouldn’t have acted alone. That had been foolish, but he’d always suffered from arrogance. He blamed his father for that. In his nightmares he’d always feared being as ugly as his Father. Maybe he truly was. His friends had rejected him, sensing how revolting he was down to the soul. He’d never been this alone, not even when he’d left Sunnydale in disgrace.

Wes jumped when hands slid around his neck. Pulling out of their grasp, he whipped around and found himself looking into Lilah’s amused face. Of course, she’d enjoy having him on edge. He hadn’t heard her get out of bed nor her bare feet on the carpet.

She smirked. “Lost in thought?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Ugly ones?”

“As ugly as me,” he grumbled, turning off the heat as the kettle finally whistled.

“You’re always such a fool.” 

Wes glared at her as he poured the water over the leaves in the tea pot. 

“I’m being serious.” Lilah softened her tone. She crossed over to him and cupped his cheek. “You are not an ugly man. Trust me, I know from ugly working where I do.”

Wes couldn’t argue that. Wolfram and Hart was the epitome of ugly.

“You are handsome, rugged even, something I wouldn’t have expected when I first met you.” She smiled, tracing a finger along his scarred neck.

He flinched away. “Don’t.”

“Is this what’s bothering you?”

“It’s a mere reflection of the man within.”

“You aren’t ugly because of the roughness and the scars, Wes. They are a roadmap of your life and they are beautiful in their way. Perfection is abhorrent in many cultures. I think it’s boring. Those scars reflect choices you’ve made good or bad. Imperfect things are beautiful in their own individual ways.”

Wesley blinked at Lilah. It wasn’t common to see the softness hiding under her tough shell. He believed she meant every word of it. He pulled her to him, nuzzling her neck. He dropped a whisper into her ear. “Thank you.”

It was what he needed to hear, even if was from Lilah, from the enemy. He was with her to live down to his friends’ low expectations of him, right? Then why did she make his heart race? He thought she was sleeping with him just to toy with him. But what if she really did think he had beauty within? Beauty might actually be harder to accept than the ugly. What a world he lived in.

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note – Yikes, this came out darker than intended!


End file.
